Home
by Just Mila
Summary: Matt had spent his whole life away from home. [02 Epilogue, slight Sorato, set pre kids, post marriage]


She appeared in the doorway when he was putting on his shoes. She hadn't said anything, but he had heard her footsteps. He turned around to face her. She stood in the doorway, leaned against it, on arm rested on the door frame, the expression on her face sad, but also like she had something to say.

There was a saying; that a picture was worth a thousand words. With Sora, he needed only ever to look into her eyes for a few seconds to hear the words she was trying to get out. He knew it was the same vice versa; they had been with each other long enough to be able to converse without speaking.

The worried expression on her face, accompanied with that sad look in her eyes, he knew exactly what she was trying to get across. Was he going away again?

He was; work needed him. They had picked their next interplanetary expedition, and he was required to be at work to be briefed. This was his job. And like several other jobs, being an astronaut was difficult in many ways, but the biggest trial it brought him was that it kept him away from home a lot.

He returned her worried expression with his own defeated one, as if to apologise, and turned back around to finish putting on his shoes.

Just then, Sora spoke, and her words stung like a harsh gust of wind.

"You've spent your whole life away from home."

He turned to Sora, and she held his gaze.

Matt looked away first, because it was true.

That summer camp he had been away from home, in the Digital World, he had left the group on more than one occasion, after the Digital World, he had dedicated his free time to his music, where even then he had let himself drown in the memories of his family before the divorce, and memories of Gabumon. Then the New DigiDestined had come into the picture, and he had even helped them out when he could. And then he grew up and became an astronaut, each new mission taking him that much farther away from home.

In one way or another, some part of him had always been away from home, whether it was his heart or his body.

Matt clenched his fist. Sora was right, too right. He had always been away from home; even now he was getting ready to get out.

Was that still his fault?

Home was where all the fighting had begun. Home was where he and T.K. used to hide in the shadows, holding onto each other, covering their ears, trying to block out the arguing, the yelling. Home was where they had decided to split up their family. Home was the last place he had seen his baby brother. Home was where he had lived with his father and the heavy silence that amplified how alone he was. Home was where he had gotten sloppy with cleaning up, because his mother wasn't there to keep him in line anymore. Home was where half his family didn't live anymore.

Home was where it was the loneliest.

But outside of home, out in the world, there was so much. There was Gabumon, and the rest of the DigiDestined, there were memories of his times with them all, and there was the sky.

The sky; bright and endless and so, so free. And beyond the sky, there was even more sky. There was countless stars and galaxies and planets, and it was all so very unknown. It was so huge; bigger than he could comprehend, bigger than anyone could, and it made him feel so small, so insignificant. It made his darkness feel small, made his worries and his loneliness feel small, highlighted how many souls there were, how alone he wasn't.

Home was where the darkness lurked, where the loneliness lived, but outside, outside was where his friends were, where there was so much to learn.

Was that still his fault? That the darkness and loneliness at home he had gotten so used to avoiding, that he was still doing it now?

He managed to get out a low and hesitant "Yeah."

Maybe there was no darkness and loneliness in the home he had built with Sora, but he now knew that his fear of all that loneliness was still there.

He had been a DigiDestined; he had faced monsters and survived countless near-death experiences, he had helped save two entire worlds for god's sake, _twice_. But despite all those monsters he had won against, he was still scared of the intangible demon that resided in the place he called home. Despite everything, his fear was still there.

What kind of DigiDestined was he, that he still ran away from his demons? DigiDestined took care of the worlds, faced their own fears and demons and here he was, years into adulthood, still running away from his.

He heard footsteps and then, Sora was crouching down on the floor next to him. He stole glances at her, wanting to take in the sight of her, but not meet her eyes. He knew that she understood what he was trying to say. She always did.

Even now was no exception.

It was very true that he was still scared of that harsh, cold loneliness that he had grown up with, but it was also true that he didn't want to be. He wanted to live at home, truly live at home, the home he had started with Sora. He didn't want to run away from it; he didn't want to run away from her.

Gently, she took his hand and held it with both of hers, and squeezed it reassuringly. And he understood.

He was scared, and that was okay. Because she would help him change that; together, they would take on the demons he spend his whole life running from. Together, they would defeat them, and it would be okay.

He would finally be okay.


End file.
